If I was BIlly Collins

1. Did you purposely choose to make some of your metaphors ridiculous?
        My metaphors are not ridiculous they are the truth. I decided to write this poem to my beloved to describe how I think of her. I am merely being honest and honesty is the main ingredient in any relationship. I identified my beloved as being the "bread in the knife", also the "crystal goblet and the wine". This is because she believes she is everything (especially in this relationship). To her the sun does not rise until she gets up. So since she thinks this way I decided to tell her what she is and what she isn't. My beloved "isn't the pine scent in the air". She does not smell that good. I would describe her scent as "the fish under the bridge". My metaphors aren't ridiculous they are just the truth.
2. When did you feel all of these different feelings toward your lover?
      When that awful aroma around her traveled across the room and up into my nostrils. But there are also good things about my lover. For instance she "is not a house of cards" that can fall down so easily. She is a strong woman that sticks to her beliefs.
3. Why do you believe the original poem failed?
       I believe the original poem failed because it doesn't quite capture the reality of a relationship. Although their are two people in a relationship, the two people tend to be more selfish and ask what they are getting out of the relationship instead of what they should be putting in. That is why I rewrote this poem and described not only my beloved but myself. 
    

Sample H and G

H
Moves
1. Great detail background information on ipod
2. Wording
3. Made me think of the ipod as "personal media"
4. I was well informed about the ipod
5. Described the ipod well: Simplicity, pocket sized, hipness, personal media
Unmoved
1. There was no argument
2. Just told me what the ipod can do
3. Boring
4. Not personal
5. Felt like I was being sold an ipod
6. Talk to much about the product itself and not the effect on society

G
Moved
1.Great vocabulary and wording
2. The sarcasm (1st page, second paragraph, last sentence)
3. Gave me new information about American society and a reason why many people drink red bull
4. well thought out/ organized
5. Showed different sources like Facebook
6. Personal made it more appealing
Unmoved
1. Some repetition
2. Shouldn't have waited till the last paragraph to bring up the argument how Red Bull is good for you when energy drinks have a bad rap
3. A few mistakes with the typing

Litany

1.) Do you believe your rewrite of this poem was better than the original poem?
2.) Does the author of the original poem connect metaphors to him or does he just say metaphors about his love?
3.) Have you ever been in love?
4.) Were some of your metaphors supposed to be sarcastic?
5.) How did you want the audience to react to your poem?
6.)Are your questions supposed to make you look better than your love?

  From sixth grade, like many other students, I was taught how the physicality of a printed essay should look. The essay should be in size 12 font, Times New Roman, double spaced, 1in. margins, with last name and page number in right hand corner. What most students know as MLA format. Sounds boring right? Well, because it is. This is something you are taught and are told, "If you don't do it like this you will be marked down!" SO not only are we worried about what our essay says, but how the essay looks. This is engraved in every students mind that we don't think we have a choice to change the physicality of an essay.

  So why is my essay written in MLA format? Because I am SCARED to do anything else!!! I cannot justify why I used it because if I had the choice I wouldn't have. My essay would have been written to look like you were reading a sugar packet. This is because my essay was on sugar substitutes and would have captured someones eye to read. I believe that teachers have us use this format so that every kid is equal. Everyone would have to write the same amount and could not cheat by writing less because they used a bigger font. It also makes the essay look clean cut and professional. It is also a way of expressing ones thoughts not through looks but through their writing.
  I have to agree completely with Will. This type of format is part of a "societal norm" and if we stray away from that norm one becomes an outcast. He is says it well that our society fixates colors with feelings and that when you read a serious paper one should not see what the other person is feeling, but should see it through the authors figurative language. Although I understand this I think it would be nice to have papers that do not follow this norm and let the author express their writings in different ways.

       "In thinking about a certain idea, many sentences and ideas can be drawn by using detailed words within this idea."
I honestly have very few comments on this sentence because I do not understand it. I may be alone here but what is the point they are trying to make. I know it has to do with an "idea" because they said the word three times. Is the sentence describing a Bing commercial. When one person says one word and another person takes that word out of context and gives them a completely different answer. Then another person takes some of that answer and tells them another fact or idea? Someone help me!

Kuaka

Don Stap's writing is unique for a science article. Instead of just an article filled with facts and statistics and what it all means he instead tells a story. He writes in first person and makes you believe that you are right there looking at the birds. In one of the parts he is saying how the codirector of the Wetlands Division at California's PRBO Conservation Science, Nils Warnock, is holding too many Godwits while trying to bring them to dry land that he was given a bird. Stap says, "Here, he says, handing me a warm bundle with long, kicking legs. “Don’t hold him too tightly.” I cradle the bird against my body and stumble through the darkness, the godwit’s heart beating like a trapped moth against my chest." When he describes the bird aginst his chest he makes you feel like you are holding the bird. His writing is very personal and in a way you are studying these birds with him instead of studying what he wrote about them. 
In Don Staps essay as he describes the birds and the scene he is also giving you facts about the birds and the birds history. Stap explains puts you in a scene with the scientists and then gives you the facts of their findings. For example, "At the side of the van, Lee Tibbitts, one of the USGS Alaska crew, holds each godwit up into the light from Riegen’s headlamp so he can measure the bird’s bill with calipers. Female bar-tails are larger than males, and bill length is an easy way to distinguish the sexes." Stap uses his descriptive language to paint the scene for us then tells us what we are looking at and for. After reading Don STap's article you feel like you just watched a documentary film about Kuakas on National Geographic.

Going through John Lehrer's text of "Don't", I see that he uses dialogue to further explain the theory. He is able to give the point of view of both the testee and the tester. Mischel, who is the mastermind behind the experiment, was saying that "What we're really measuring with the marshmallows isn't will power or self control. It's much more important than that. This task forces kids to find a way to make the situation work for them. They want the second marshmallow, but how can they get it? We can't control the world, but we can control how we think about it." John has put this in here because it gives you the real meaning behind the theories and the statistics. It shows how passionate Mischel was about this project. The dialogue also lets you see what the children (at the time) were thinking as they were contemplating whether to eat the marshmallow or not. One of the children Craig said that when he realized their was no adult in there to see him he took a marshmallow. This helps Mischel and the reader to see what the reason behind not waiting to eat the marshmallow besides the fact that they wanted it.
Another tool that John uses in his essay is giving a short introduction or biography of the characters in the story. He describes Mischel with a shaved head and brooklyn accent. Telling us that Mischel acts out his sentences behaving like a four year old. When he acted this way Mischel said it helped to understand the children. Giving little biographies and introductions helps set the mood and lets you imagine what and how the process of the experiment looked.